Difficult topics make the best stories

Really, they do. At least, with my sadistically poetic muse, they do. For example: The End Is Where We Start From, my latest Sanctuary fic.

I wouldn't read the following if you haven't read the first chapter of the story, or you don't plan on reading it. The fic is rated "M" for good reasons: violence, sexual situations, and language.


Helen dies. Nikola is upset and angry and suicidal. And yet, in the midst of all this pain and suffering, my muse decides that there is quite a bit of beauty. I love her. And I hate her. But mostly I love her right now, because she's being nice and giving me something to write about.

Of course, this comes at the price of writing the death of beloved character(s), completely messed up sleep schedules, and sobbing as silently as possible at two in the morning so I don't wake the family.

Character death, however, is apparently one of my favourite difficult topics. I seem to have a penchant for characters who killed themselves when loved ones die. Look at FLW as well as "The End...". Look at my original fiction: My first short story involved death, and the short story I like most at the moment involves infanticide. Something in me just cries out to talk about death -- in the most beautiful way. I don't begin to understand it.

But then, my music is sadistically poetic, after all.

Hey, Muse! Choose more appropriate times!

My muse has a PENCHANT for arriving at like, the worst possible time. I mean, granted, being as stuck in fanfiction as I am right now isn't very helpful in getting my summer work done before I go back to school. But still, even if that were my only, problem, my muse particularly likes to arrive at one in the morning when I'm trying to fall asleep.


So, naturally, when I was trying to fall asleep this morning, I was struck with an awful and heart-wrenching idea that I couldn't put out of my head until later, and I promptly spent three hours writing a Teslen fanfic that had me sobbing by the time I finished it. It's also my first foray into writing anything that has to be rated M. It's violent. It made me sob and now is making me mad, as I keep going with it. It started when I took a prompt for Teslen day (the 27th) from the GW forums and ran in a direction that I can guarantee no one was expecting.

It's getting long. It's looking to be at least three parts. Its working title is "Feeding". It came from a challenge that was supposed to be to write about Nikola's bloodlust at some point that Helen helped him with it, and it drastically and darkly degraded from there.